Today’s post comes from U.K. parenting blogger Helen Wills, who shares tips that could apply to any blogger or writer attending a conference for the first time, regardless of where they live. — Michelle V. Rafter
The writing and blogging conference season is looming, and social media threads are full of chat about who is attending what. It’s an exciting time, with announcements of keynote speakers sparking Twitter gossip, and plans for satellite gatherings in bars and coffee shops around the edges.
Yet for every excited tweet I see, there’s another expressing nerves, insecurity, or outright fear of attending. Why is the prospect of meeting online friends so terrifying, and how can anxieties give way to the huge opportunities afforded to bloggers by these events?
I remember my first conference very clearly. I had been blogging for two months and had discovered BritMums, the UK’s largest network of parent and lifestyle bloggers. I entered a competition for a ticket to the event, won, then panicked. I had made a few tentative online connections with commenters on my blog, but didn’t even have a Twitter account. I was terrified.
Bloggers Share Overcoming Their Fears
My trepidation is far from unusual, as evidenced by reactions from other bloggers I asked about this. One is Anna, a published writer with degrees in English and linguistics. Although she has been blogging at DummyMummy for two years, Anna is too terrified to attend an event full of “strangers.” She writes:
“My stats are pretty appalling, and I’d love to meet other bloggers for advice and chats about blogging… but the thought of being alone in a room full of experienced, talented, confident writers just scared the hell out of me.”
Blogging is very personal, so perhaps a fear of laying oneself bare to judgement is what stops writers from engaging on a physical level. Elaine, who blogs at Fun as a Gran, says that getting no response to a tweet is far less distressing than the prospect of walking into a room and being ignored. She goes on to explain:
“I spent a lot of my school days moving from school to school as Elaine no pals. I would be so worried that nobody would talk to me or want to know me. I worry nobody would want to share a room with me and that my clothes and hair would not be good enough.”
In reality, the fear is never usually representative of the reality. Rachel, who writes the RightFromTheStart early education blog, was nervous about meeting online connections for the first time. She prepared herself by asking the NetMums community, another site for U.K. parenting bloggers, to put her in touch with other bloggers who needed a room share. She says:
“When I arrived I sat at a table and was amazed at how friendly everyone was. People were keen to stop me and ask me who I was and though I felt a little lost it was a very friendly event.”
So what can organizers do to encourage more bloggers to face their anxieties? Nickie, a well-respected and established blogger who runs the blog Typecast, still remembers worrying over her first conference. She conquered her nerves by finding someone who lived nearby to travel with. Knowing someone else in the same position helped give her the confidence to make connections with strangers. Since then she has attended – and spoken at – numerous events, and has this tip for organizers:
“I like the idea of visible assistants at conferences; BritMums have their “butterflies,” approachable people who can guide you in the right direction to the next session or introduce you to someone you can have a brew and a chat with.”
As for me, I got through my first event with a bigger smile than my nerves merited. Each event has been easier, has helped me improve my blog, and make valuable connections.
More Tips for Your First Event
Still not confident enough to book that ticket? Here are some tips to help you click the button and go for it:
1. Travel with another first-timer. Barring that, arrange to meet an online contact for coffee before walking into the event.
2. Arrive early. It’s harder to break into conversations if there are groups already immersed in chat.
3. Get to sessions in time. Sit at an empty table. You’ll find other nervous people approach you when they see you’re on your own.
4. Ask an organizer to introduce you to someone. They will know of someone else who just walked in alone, or is also feeling unsure.
5. Ask questions. Lots of questions. It’s easier than talking about yourself, and will help others open up to you.
Are you attending a blogging conference this year? Let us know how you’re preparing for it by leaving a comment.
Helen Wills is an online copywriter and contributor to several U.K. parenting websites and lives in Hertfordshire, just outside London. Her personal blog, Actually Mummy, catalogues the ups and downs of family life and school in the voice of her 8-year-old-daughter. Wills won the Schooldays category of the 2012 Mum and Dad Blogger awards, and writes a monthly column for BritMums on the best new bloggers.
[Flickr photo by atomicShed]
Some great advice, Helen. I still remember my first blogging conference. Despite having chatted to people online for a year or so, I was terribly nervous about meeting them in flesh. I was overwhelmed at first, but I agree with you. If you attend sessions and just ask people about their blogs and experiences with blogging, it’s easier to get chatting and feel more comfortable in your own skin. Would love to read more articles like this x
Great post. I would add that you should remember everyone else is as nervous as you. At my first blog event I was excited to meet people I had already connected with online. I recently went to another event where I didn’t know many people. I smiled at the person standing or sitting next to me and said hello. I then made some new friends. Don’t let fear stop you going to an event. Most people feel the same as you.
That’s so true Sandy – when I was doing my research for this article, a blogger was surprised to hear me say that even the people you think are big and important are usually feeling nervous too!
Hi there, I remember my first blogging conference – Cybermummy. I went with another new blogger I had ‘met’ online but then followed up with a face to face before the event and we walked around together. It was completely overwhelming and I felt like such a fraud amongst all those established bloggers. However, I did not have the same fears the following year as I knew so many more people by that time. The trick is to buddy up with another newbie, and not be afraid to join a table full of other bloggers – chances are they are just meeting each other for the first time as well.
Although I won’t be attending any blogging conferences this year, I found this post extremely helpful.
When you’re relatively new to blogging as I am, it’s great to know that these big scary meet-ups, aren’t actually as scary as they first appear to be. I’ll be baring this in mind, if I ever do take the plunge!
Some great tips Helen! I think we have to keep reminding ourselves that these things are never as bad as we think they are going to be and they represent such a great opportunity to develop our blogs/writing that it would be a shame to miss them because of nerves.
Some great suggestions which I will definitely come back before attending my first conference this summer!
Really great tips Helen. I remember when I attended my first event – Brit Mums – last year, and I met up with some other bloggers in a cafe before hand – and that really helped. I was still nervous meeting people for the first time, but as it turns out, everyone was very friendly!
Great post – I’ve been to several blogging and PR events and still get nervous. I’ll be attending BritMums this year and stating overnight in London for the first time so I’ll be bookmarking this post to read nearer the time!
Great post Helen.
A roomful of opinionated, mildly over excited & hysterical bloggers is pretty terrifying.
I do the old ‘fake it til you make it’ thing – pretend I’m confident & sure that someone somewhere will want to talk to me!
Otherwise I tend to walk around like a rabbit caught in the headlights & wouldn’t notice a friendly person if they bashed me over the head.
I’m with Anna! I’d love to go to a bloggers’ conference but feel totally inferior to the clever people I know would be there. Totally irrational, I know. Great tips though. I would think again about being too wimpy to go!
Helen, knowing your blog, and you a little, I would say if you want to go, go for it! You would fit right in – everyone there is very much alike, as Anya says below. And the well-known, well-seasoned characters there often feel just as insecure as you, they just won’t show it!
What a lovely post. I advocate the belief that ‘Nobody is a Nobody’ at these conferences and it’s hard to believe that as a first timer, but it’s true. Buddying up with someone else and sticking together can make it all much less of an ordeal. Most people are super friendly and quite strong personalities. You’ll always click with someone and the strength of connections made at the smallest events can stand you in really good stead. They’re a great place to start.
I have found myself nodding throughout this post! I was very nervous about my first blogging conference but the majority of people that I met were friendly, keen to share experience and chat so I had nothing to worry about.
I went to my first event last year and agree that everyone was extremely friendly and very aware that some folks may be less confident. At the end of the day, we’re all just Mums who blog. Plenty in common x